I have just spent six weeks in an armchair with my leg elevated after breaking my ankle. Its been an interesting six weeks as I have been able to observe many things from the armchair, and many things from the wheelchair.

To be honest I have quite enjoyed the enforced downtime, and have felt as though I have been in a totally different space, like being in slow motion, watching everything pass by, and totally letting go of any resistance to it.

I have caught up with audios, books, films, and done some writing, and kept myself fully occupied. Friends have visited and brought cake, produce from the garden for lunch, wine so it hasn’t been so bad.

However there have been one or two occasions when I have felt invisible and a nuisance. The first time was in the supermarket week 3, when my partner took me out. Whilst there was plenty of space in the supermarket for my wheelchair, there were a few people who couldn’t see me and when I said excuse me so I could get by them, I received huffs and puffs and crabby looks.

The second time was visiting the Yorkshire Outlet at Lakeside. It was a lovely sunny day so again my partner thought I might like a change of scenery. During our visit to the outlet I needed to go to the loo, and we made our way to the disabled loo, all two of them, unfortunately they were both locked and no attendant could be seen to ask if there was a key to get in. Instead I had to slalem my way around the entrance to the ladies. Balance precariously on one leg, and then hop into the loo. That was a bit scary.

The third time was last weekend when we had a family get together at Dunchurch Park Hotel in Rugby. The room had been booked for some time, but after the accident I rang the hotel to ensure they had a ground floor hotel that would accommodate a wheelchair. I was assured my booking had been changed and I had been allocated one of their rooms they use for disabled guests. In their dreams! On arrival our room was not ready, we had to wait an hour. On allocating our room we had to go through 4 sets of double doors which did not want to move. When we arrived at our room it was a normal room and the wheelchair would not go through the door!  Back to reception and a wait of 20 minutes before they dealt with us. They had no rooms to offer with single beds, and what they called a disabled room was a normal room with double bed, and a wider bathroom door. To enter the room in a wheelchair I had to turn immediately right on entering, to get into the bathroom, turn myself around and then stay in the bathroom doorway as there was no room to manouvre the wheelchair to the side of the bed, or even the end of the bed!

Last but not least, we stopped at Trowell Services on the m1 on the way home, again they have disabled toilets that are locked! No attendant in site, we ended up going into Marks and Spencers and asking the staff if they knew how we got a key. 20 minutes later they found a key! another minute and there would have been a pool on the floor!

My experience is only temporary thank god, but for people out there who are truly disabled, and not just suffering a broken ankle, how do they deal with the attitude of people who treat them as though they are invisible, hotels that treat them as 2nd class guests, and public loo’s which always seem to be locked.

How do we get away with treating people this way, when we live in a world of plenty?  Okay that’s my rant, got it off my chest, feel better now. I for one will be much more aware in future.

It’s Friday morning 22nd July, oh sorry it Friday afternoon! I have had such an exciting morning I don’t know where the time went. The house is very quiet, there is only me here at the moment and I am sat in my armchair in the breakfast room in the bay window. Outside the window is what I call my jungle area, a shady place full of large palms, a huge castor oil plant that holds out its leaves like large giants hands, ready for the sun to shine on them, or for the rain to wash over them. Hints of colours flash as the wind blows my hanging baskets gently, and the Virginia creeper stealthily creeps to meet them.

Outside the French doors at the far end of the breakfast room, I have a restricted view of the garden from my armchair, however from where I am sitting I can still see the stretching tendrils of the wisteria winding itself in a loving hug over the pergola, and I remember how beautiful it looked when in full flower earlier in the year.   A little further on I can just about see the large gold  head of Buddha in all his glory surround by large orange marigolds, and purple begonias against a backdrop of dark green ferns.  Whilst I love the garden it is time for change. Come September we are having a garden makeover and I am looking forward to creating a new energy, a space of tranquillity for reflection, a space for leisurely eating, and a space for growing vegetables.  Oh, yes, a space for storage and small workshop so my partner has somewhere to go and play too.

Why am I telling you this you may be thinking, it is because I am here in an armchair with my leg elevated and the sun is shining through the window onto my neck and shoulders. This combined with the silence apart from my fingers tapping the keyboard,  feels so peaceful and calm, and I am left feeling totally uplifted by their subject matter as it resonates with the whole of my being.

It all started when I logged on to Facebook and there they were, my new world of virtual conscious and creative friends who have, as if by magic, appeared over the last 18 months since I beat my long term resistance and started to nurture my creative orphan who had been kicking my shins for some time to take up writing.  I have to say I find it very scary.

These virtual friends have generously shared their expertise and gifts on Facebook, in blogs, Audioboos, telephone seminars, and created what I feel is an amazing shift in how we are able to connect with like minded people,  share our thoughts, expertise, encourage each other, and give feedback. 

Firstly, Tom Evans author of “Flavours of Thought”, “The Art and Science of Light Bulb Moments” two name just two of his books, (he loves mind maps and so do I, he also comes from Manchester and so do I).  Tom was sharing the following link on Audioboo: http://audioboo.fm/boos/404667-carl-munson-an-upgrade-for-the-soul. Having listened to that recording I chose to listen to another link one featuring a guy called Steve Taylor (another Mancunian!) http://audioboo.fm/boos/365328-steve-taylor-on-awakening.  Steve was talking about people he had interviewed for his new book “Out of the darkness”, every day ordinary people who experience all kinds of turning points, be it health challenges, trauma, near death experiences etc. and how these can shift us to a higher state of consciousness. I know what he means, and I would like to add that these experiences can also lift us to a higher state of happiness so much so that whatever life throws at you, you gain an ability to take a step back, view from afar and respond appropriately amazing yourself in the process.

Secondly Tom shared another link from Hypnoramblings which I think is brilliant and really made me laugh. It also made me feel like a daisy. Yes, Daisy, watch the video to find out what I mean.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-V6srpmIkQ&feature=youtube

Thirdly,  Julia McCutchen founder and Director of The Association of Conscious and Creative Writers (IACCW) on Facebook added a new topic to the discussion board :  Kimberley May Jones  “To Publish or not to Publish” A recent offer from a publisher and the difficult choice she had to make in order to stay in her integrity and authenticity.  She said NO. A courageous choice and what I would call an act of self love.  Faced with that opportunity how many of us would have sold ourselves short?  Your can learn all about Julia McCutcheon and the Writers Journey at www.IACCW.com

Finally I received notification today of Lynn MacTaggart;s new book “The Bond”, have pre-ordered it on Amazon and can’t wait for it to arrive. 

I’ve had a wonderful morning, listening to the silence, and my virtual friends on the Internet.  Brilliant!

Here I am, sat in a wheelchair, balancing my laptop on a cushion on my knees.  I hate laptop keyboards! Usually I have a keyboard plugged into my laptop, but usually it is on my desk, and usually I can walk in and out of my office whenever I want. However I am just starting week 4 of doing things from my armchair office, with my leg elevated after an accident and emergency surgery to pin it back together again. I feel very blessed to have friends who have taken time out of their busy day over the last three weeks to pop in, chat a while, make me smile and am very grateful for the Walnut Cake, Ice Cream, and freshly picked garden produce that one of my friends came with to share lunch with me. Whilst the accident has certainly brought me to a halt, I have found it a great opportunity to take time out.  I have been writing, catching up on audio’s, films, meditating and generally paying attention to how quickly we can adapt to doing things differently when we have to.   Someone said to me how remarkably positive I am despite the impact of the accident on my life and on my partners life.   I thought about that comment and in all honesty do not feel I could react any differently.

I feel very blessed in my life, and can say with hand on heart I am happy.  It has not always been like this and it has taken a lot of self healing and inner work to get here.  I guess having had my own Life Coach along the way and experienced the benefits, I was then inspired to become a  Life Coach myself. I pride myself on walking my talk.

In these difficult and changing times, there is a lot of publicity around  “being happy”.  Happiness Projects run by the Government, Charities, Spiritual Organisations; even online you can tap into the happiness trend and become part of the happiness tribe.

As a Life Coach and emotional health consultant, I am always listening for the message behind the message when a client visits me for the first time, and it always seems they are unhappy for a reason, but it is never the reason they think.  

Mostly we live our lives backwards i.e.

• I will be happy when I get that promotion
• I will be happy if I get that car
• I will be happy when I move house
• I will be happy if I had a partner.

The trouble with this type of thinking is that something outside of you has to happen for you to be happy.  WRONG!  Here’s the secret….. and I’m sharing it with you because I want you to be happy…… Happiness is an inside job!  Now I have let the cat out of the bag what are you going to do about it? Here are some questions you could ask yourself. 

Firstly, sit in a chair; get comfortable with pen and paper.  Take a few minutes to be silent and just breathe gently in and out. As you breathe in imagine you are breathing in “inspiration”, on the out breath let go of all tension and rambling thoughts.  NOW, take a look at the questions and then let the answers come from deep inside.

HOW DO YOU CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?

• What things do you do on a daily basis to keep you happy?
• What is one thing you HAVE TO DO that makes you happy?
• What makes you feel good?
• What do you find fun, energising, challenging, satisfying?
• What makes you feel bad?  What are the sources of anger, anxiety, frustrations in your life?
• Do you have resources that help stimulate your growth & development?
• Does your environment nurture your spirit?
• What boundaries have you put in place to ensure your happiness?
• Does your life reflect your values?
• Are you living up to your expectations for yourself?
• In what areas of your life do you find progress, challenge, and mastery?

When you have identified what brings you joy and fulfilment, you can then make new plans to give your happiness a boost.  Then it is about thinking of yourself as worthy of sticking to it.  Make being happy your number one priority.

Be Happy

During May I had a challenge with writing as I was suffering with acute Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.  Too much keyboard work, too much handwriting, and too much pain!  I am not asking for solutions, I have many ways for combating the problem, and all of them drug free I might add, but that’s  a story for another day.  However, it slowed me down to say the least, and retrospectively that was just what the Universe was wanting me to do… SLOW DOWN!!   It is amazing sometimes how we can unconsciously fall back into old patterns of rushing here, rushing there, busy in busyness.    When we are so engrossed in the pace of life, it does sometimes take PAIN in one form or another to get our attention and slow us down.   

Once I had finally got the message  I made a conscious effort to become quiet and still everyday for the month of May, to reconnect, and practice inner and outer listening.   My inner listening was making sure I did my meditation every day, and my outer listening was going for a walk every day.   I am quite pleased with myself for doing this and feel so much more relaxed and connected.   As the month went by, I also had lots of  moments of inspiration and creativity which has left me feeling  so much clearer about the direction I want to go in.  It also allowed me to become aware of  ……………

THE SPACE AT THE END OF MY ROAD

Lined with Edwardian houses, standing as guardians of the precious space. No houses built here, just a beautiful green space for the people.

In winter, the trees are bare, and in their nakedness the space seems to expand as far as the eye can see. It’s visitors scurry across from one corner to another, fighting the wind and rain on their way to who knows where.

On Sundays the footballers and their supporters visit the space, to play their games. The wind carries their voices across the rooftops, into our gardens.

When it snows, footprints are all you see, leaving behind mysterious patterns.  Someone starts a snowball, and it grows and grows, as if invisible hands have pushed it, until too big to push any further.

Now summer is here, and the green space beckons, the trees in all their glory rustle in the breeze, whispering and encouraging you to play, picnic, meet friends, sit awhile.  People with their dogs congregate on the footpaths chatting, the dogs running riot and having the time of their lives,  children running and playing on their way to school at the edge of this beautiful green space.

 New seats have been placed around the edges, and if you sit and close your eyes, the light breeze and warmth of the sun will caress you like an invisible hand, and you feel surrounded with universal love. 

Yet while I walk this space each day revelling in its beauty, there is secret excitement bubbling inside, knowing that the next season will show its true colours. Oh, how I love the Autumn.

This space is my companion on my walks through the seasons, a forever changing landscape of colour and texture.  How lucky am I to have all this at the end of my road.

Margaret Abraham © May 2011

Here I am, Here I stand for all to see

Yet do they see the real me?

Somewhere inside I know, I am waiting for the green light – GO!

I feel I am in first gear, but somehow stuck there with fear.

Can I really be me? what then will they see?

I listen in to voices within, I recall the dreams and hear the screams,

Whose screams are they? mine or theirs?

I feel the call to stand in the light, I try to do it with all my might.

But is it me they want to see, or the one they think I should be.

Margaret Abraham (c) May 2011

I was reading a story the other day about some Prisoners in America who had found a way of accessing the outside world.   When found out, the Police Chief had reported that the men did not seem to want to leave prison and escape, it was more that they were just interested in making life more comfortable in prison by bringing in stuff from the outside.   It reminded me of a time in 2002 when I was facilitating a 4 hour programme on “Change” in the local prison.  There were 18 men in the room that day and two guards.  They strolled in, some curious, some not wanting to be there, some showing off, until they were told to sit down and shut up by the guards.    As the room settled into silence, I introduced myself and asked the prisoners to think of one positive thing about being in prison.  Food, safety, comfort were just some of the words shouted out; when I asked “what else”,  there was silence.  What I was looking for was “time”.    They had something that sometimes I wish I had more of but what were they doing with it.   What responsible actions were they taking to use the time they had on their hands to prepare for the outside world once they had left prison.      The statistics show us that 80% of offenders return to prison, what is going wrong?       Even being in prison and locked up, having time on your hands, can be reframed into an opportunity for learning techniques to help you embrace change.   Over the years I have worked in prisons and drug rehab centres and if there was  only one thing I was able to  pass on, it would be the techniques of the reframe. 

One of the things I love the most about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is what we call the Reframe.  NLP teaches us that the meaning of any experience depends on the frame we have around that experience, or the context of the experience.  I quite often ask my clients “what would have to change for you to start to feel better about the situation you are in?”, the answer is quite often “I don’t know”.  The next question is “What if you did know”.   Small changes can have a huge impact.     Have you every admired a friends sunglasses and tried them on and looked around.   Dependant on the colour of the lenses,  almost every time it will change the way everything looks, sometimes slightly, sometimes a lot.   However, most of us go around living our life as though our glasses have been covered over with tape!    We create our own prisons of worry, guilt, bitterness, anger, regret, fear which stops us from tapping into our own gifts and the potential of a happy and fulfilling life.  

Try this exercise.      Give yourself 15 minutes to look at any negative situation you find yourself wrestling with , or resisting, then use the 6 Simple Steps to reframe your life.   Try it, then let me kow what happens.  

REFRAME YOUR LIFE IN 6 SIMPLE STEPS.

1.   REFRAME  – Change the way you see a potential problem situation.

2.  INTERRUPTION - Cut short and change the behaviour that initiates the problem.

3.  BE CURIOUS -  Resources (remember a time when you did something right).

4.  PRACTICE – Once you know what works for you, DO MORE OF IT!

5.  VISIONING – (MAKING A MOVIE)  – Imagine your self in a movie acting out the solution.

6. DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!   If what you are doing isn’t working, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

For the fullly extended version of these tips, go to the Contact page on my website: www.healthandwealthresources.co.uk and request a copy.

Today I am working from home, my intention is to do some writing.  I decided to take 15 minutes to get quiet before starting.  I focused my vision on the leaves of a beautiful castor oil plant outside my office window.  As usual thoughts all came tumbling in, “what should I write about today?” “What will people think of it?” “How can I get in touch with my authentic voice?”.   I let the thoughts & questions go and concentrated on the leaves gently moving in the breeze.

Two words kept popping into my head during this time – resistance and resilience.   This week has been particularly wet in South Yorkshire and I presume most of the UK.  My garden has taken a battering, the blossom that was so beautiful on my wisteria last week is now looking very bedraggled with the continual soaking of the last few days.   However this morning it is dry, there is a slight breeze, the sun is trying to get through and already the plants are starting to lift their heads towards the sky.

Plants don’t resist the weather, they bend with the wind, adapt to changes in temperature, change with the seasons, and when the sun does shine they stand tall.    There is no resistance, they go with the flow and are resilient despite the weather.

Can you remember a time when you resisted something, then took the plunge, overcame a fear, and felt your own resilience.  If you are in a space of resistance at the moment, you can go to my website www.healthandwealthresources.co.uk  and request a FREE copy of  my 10 Tips to Create Change.